Batting Clean Up, Or, Always Have a Back-Up Plan

Sometimes the best game plan doesn't go so well. Sometimes, it goes perfectly. In either case, when you are the clean up batter, you know you are either going to be the hero or the goat. So it pays to have a back up plan.

I really thought that last week, my experience with a bat in the house was an isolated incident. My clean up batters arrived, and cleared the bases - nary a bat was left in my house. Or so I thought.

Last night, it only took one swoop of the dark winged invader to set off the dog and send me packing. i was about to reach for the phone and call up the troops again - but seriously, how embarrasing. I then spotted, in the corner, my back up plan. Standing, at the ready, was my leopard print kitchen broom, the brush end covered with a hot pink towel.

Last week, in my flurry of cell phone calls and text messages, a more bat-experienced friend had messaged me to just knock the thing out of the air with a towel covered broom, Hit it like a baseball, or maybe a badminton birdie. I rejected the idea in favor of letting someone else chase the critter, but filed the advice away. So,last night, when i found myself on my own, the broom was ready. As the bat and the dog continued to swoop around the house I grabbed my weapon. At the best the vermin would go out the window as soon as I opened it. At the worst I would hit a line drive with the critter, and my dog would make the diving save.

I race to the front door and slid open the window. Yelling like a celtic warrior I swung at the flying rodent, missing it like it was a 90 mph curve ball, until it got the idea that flying out the open window was the best action. "Out of the park!" I said to the dog and slammed the window shut.

Now, I'm now sure if I need to call an exterminator or a baseball team.