This year, Mother’s Day provides me with an extraordinary
opportunity to look back at my life from a unique — and in many cultures —
sacred, position. From ancient
goddess-based civilizations to new age consciousness-raising groups, the stages
of a woman’s life have served as religious metaphor, reason for subjugation and
the starting point of self-analysis. And while the stages, roles and paths of
today’s women may have many more facets, the concept of Maiden, Mother, and
Crone still holds relevance – especially on Mother’s Day. To me, these three ancient
elements of womanhood translate into three elements of motherhood; my roles as
Daughter, Mother and, now, Grandmother.
As a daughter, I grew up rejecting much of what my mother
did, vowing to be “different.” My formative years were colored by my mother’s
alcoholism, leading me to believe that once one becomes a mother, one loses all
interest in the outside world and spends the rest of life regretting the past
and ignoring the future. For me, it was to be a Maiden’s life forever — no
marriage or children for me.
But marry I did, and not only had children, but had three is
short succession. My new attitude was that by accepting the role of Mother, I
would be the most involved, and
dedicated mother ever, and one who not only knew what was going on in the
world, but participated in it, fully and intensely. It was perhaps my
fierceness as Mother that contributed to the collapse of my role as Wife. But I
shouldered my new Single Mother role with as much, if not more fierceness. As
my children matured into adults, leaving the nest but not my heart, my role of
Mother evolved into that of anchor and mentor. I continued to learn and grow, not wanting to “go gentle in
that dark night.” The concept of a wrinkled old Crone, no matter how wise, was
not for me.
Now, as I embrace one grandchild, and wait for another later
this year, I realize that the role of Grandmother sits on my head like a crown
of diamonds. It honors me and honors my life, and all the roles I have played.
It elevates me to matriarch, and I am humbled by that. My curiosity about the
world and my desire to grow are still intact, and now I get to share it with
another generation.
