Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Sounds of Silence and Bubonic Plague

I've been silent for a while, traveling around for work, trying to redecorate my house and scrounging together the pennies to pay for it. A huge stack of news articles sits on my desk, most of them relating to rodents, rodent research and one article about a flying frozen sausage. However, I have been unable to sit down and report on these items, and for that I apologize. After all, you have the right to know what conclusions about the human race rest on the humble backs of lab rats.

Today, however, I needed to break my silence, force myself to sit down, and report something that, while disturbing is not surprising. In fact, I warned you about it months ago. According to this article on cnn.com, CNN.com - Case of bubonic plague confirmed in L.A. - Apr 19, 2006 , bubonic plague has been diagnosed in Los Angeles.

Rare, but not unheard of, you say. Probably from fleas in her house, officials say. What no one is addressing is how those fleas happened to get exposed to bubonic plague. Obviously, they bit some other animal carrier - but which animals?

I'll tell you which animals - the lab mice from Newark, New Jersey that no one has ever been able to conclusively explain the disappearance of. You remember, those mice infected with BUBONIC PLAGUE. It doesn't take much to realize that those mice, not wanting to live on the cold Newark street, hopped a plane at Newark Airport, and flew to LA, where they are now treating LA fleas to this microscopic menace.

I'll never get credit for this discovery, and no one will ever admit it, but you and I, we know its true.