Approaching the Family Expiration Date

53

Three of four grandparents and one parent
didn’t see this day and
one parent lasted a mere three years longer.
Two of three uncles did not reach it
one remaining aunt holds the current survival record.
Matriarch of this bloodline, I reject the family’s short shelf life,
determined to go down in the family lore and legend
as the one who beat the odds.
The cardiologist says my arteries are pristine,
surely a sign of longevity.
But the broken parts of my heart he can’t see,
the parts that make it hard to turn 53.

©2008 Noreen Braman

Tuesday Greetings to my son, and you

So, Mitt Romney, 45 Million Uninsured Americans Just "Don't Want to Play?"

I can't believe what I just heard, my blood pressure must be sky high. If I go to the hospital tonight, please send my bill to Mitt Romney.

For years I have railed against draconian HMOs, health insurance bureaucracy, inefficient medical providers and inequities in a system far sicker than the patients it serves. I have watched politicians debate where changes should be made, where money should come from, and whether or not the government should be involved or not. I have fought my own personal battles to obtain proper health care for myself and my children, and listened to the stories of many others fighting similar battles. I have seen the results of families being shut out of health care because of "pre-exisiting conditions," "experiemtal treatmemts" and exorbitant cost. Unless you are fortunate enough to work for a company that helps defray the cost of health insurance, or pays you enough for you to shoulder the group premium yourself, you are out of luck. Work somewhere that health insurance isn't offered, you will most likely not be able to afford to buy insurance on your own, because the cost could be 1,000 a month and beyond. Work at a minimum wage job and even a group premium of 300 a month could be beyond your means. Possibly, if your wages are low enough, you may be able to get state-funded health insurance for your children, but if you, the breadwinner gets sick, you are out of luck. And I really thought that most politicians knew and accepted this, but only differed on how to solve the problem.

Tonight, Mitt Romney presented another view, and a view that I suddenly realize may be held in secret by many people in this country. According to Mitt, the 45 million Americans who do not have health insurance are simply refusing to pay their share and are expecting the taxpayer to foot the bill. 45 million are "refusing to play" with those who are. His answer was simple, pay for health insurance or pay your own way.

This is a dangerous attitude that shows a person, intending to lead this country, while being completely out of touch with how the common person is struggling today. It shows a person with no concept of how one illness or injury can devastate a family - yes, even those with so-called insurance. No, he thinks that 45 million pesky uninsured Americans are just refusing to be insured. I really expected to hear a version of Ebeneezer Scrooge's words "And if they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population!" come flying out of his mouth.

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What We

Concert, scholarship will honor De Carolis

A Big Band Benefit Concert to honor Mario "Chic" De Carolis and to fund the first music scholarship in East Brunswick is planned for 3-5 p.m. on Oct. 28 at East Brunswick High School, Cranbury Road.

De Carolis, who died in February, was a music teacher and bandleader at East Brunswick High School, Middle School and elementary schools for 30 years. He was especially well-known for founding the Indigos Dance Band, a 24-member jazz stage band made up of the high school's elite musicians, many of whom have become successful music teachers and/or professional musicians.

In honor of "Mr. D's" life and longstanding contributions to the community, his daughter, Yvonne Amalina De Carolis, his family and his former students including Steve Kaplan and Noreen Braman, have created the first music scholarship and benefit concert in his name.

The Mario "Chic" De Carolis Music Scholarship Concert will feature former Indigos Band alumni, musicians from Musicians Local No. 204-373 (of which De Carolis was president) and current students in the East Brunswick High School Jazz Band, under the direction of John Kish.

Former students and colleagues who wish to participate in the event or who cannot attend but wish to make a donation are invited to call Yvonne De Carolis at (609) 275-8474.

Concert donation is $10. All proceeds will benefit the scholarship fund.

Sticks and Stones and Names

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!”

That was chant we learned in grammar school, the response we were taught, for bullies who were calling us names. It was supposed to give power to us and show the bullies they couldn’t get to us (not with words anyway).

Unfortunately, it was a false promise. Growing up taught us that the bullies COULD get to us, with sticks, with stones and with words. And sometimes, it is the words that inflict the most painful damage of all.

Don Imus was the playground bully, and the Rutgers women’s basketball team was his victim. The team held its head up high, got an apology and, for the time being at least, saw the silencing of a bully. However, the damage done by the words uttered by Imus is not so easily healed. Unlike most broken bones, which can heal in a matter of weeks or months, the wounds opened by words can remain raw for a long, long time. How long will it be before any mention of the Rutgers women’s basketball team will not conjure up an echo of the terrible names they were called?

This week, we saw another example of the terrible power of words, the damage of name calling. When Alec Baldwin left that message for his daughter, he may have been justified in his anger, but was he justified in calling his daughter a “pig?” Does being angry excuse telling a young child that she doesn’t have “the brains and the decency of a human being”?

There probably isn’t a parent who hasn’t said something to his or her child that was regrettable. There are things, I am sure, that most parents wish had been handled differently. I’m sure Alec Baldwin is feeling that way now.

This is something that should never have been played for the public. Yet, there is something we can learn. Not only from Alec Baldwin’s rant, but Don Imus’ cheap shot comments too.

Words are powerful. Words can hurt. Did my stepfather think he was inflicting long lasting pain on me each time he called me “the Brainless Wonder?” Probably not, but I still wince today, even to type the words. And so it will be for the Rutgers team, and for Alec Baldwin’s daughter. Every time those words are repeated, in public, in private or in print – those wounds will open up again.

It is not the pen that is mightier than the sword, but the word.